


the unwritten requirement

by izumidos



Series: Kurobas Week 2017 [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Humor, Kuroko's Harem, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 02:31:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11750223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izumidos/pseuds/izumidos
Summary: Is having a really weird quirk or obsession like an unwritten requirement to be a member of the Generation of Miracles?





	the unwritten requirement

**Author's Note:**

> for **Kurobas week Day 2: Omake / "Time-Out"**
> 
> let's be real,, why has no one questioned the gom's habits? that's what kagami is here to do

**i. Kaijou**

 

Kaijou has Kise which means, more often than not, Seirin has practice matches with them if Shuutoku isn’t available.

Typically, it shouldn’t/doesn’t bother Taiga that they’re constantly up against the same team. Considering that they hold a Miracle – and technically, some part of all of the Miracles because of that damn copying ability – and they’re all within Tokyo, they’re already going to battle against each other a lot.

More practice, more gains after all.

But since the start of their second year, a lot of Kaijou’s regulars have graduated. So, not only is there a sudden influx of newbie third years, rookie second years, and unlucky first years –  _ there’s no more Kasamatsu to control Kise _ .

Which is bad because, for some god-forsaken reason, Kise just  _ has _  to always have some sort of physical contact with Kuroko at all times. It’s irritating enough to deal with his random bursting into their gym, but then they have to practically peel him off a possibly-but-usually choking Kuroko which makes it infinitely worse.

Man, and Taiga thought that being called with that dumb '-cchi' nickname was bad.

Taiga doesn’t know how Kuroko does it; maybe he’s just gotten used to it after all those years, maybe he’s actually into all of that affection, maybe it’s a combination of both or none. Who knows anymore? If the reasons for Kise hugging Kuroko is unknown, then Taiga doesn’t want to know what Kuroko’s entire self would be called at this point.

He’s getting sidetracked, but the point is: why the fuck does Kise always have to be so attached to Kuroko? He understands that Kuroko basically trained the guy, but it’s been a solid 2 years at this point – shouldn’t he be over it by now?

Obviously not, Taiga thinks when he sees a familiar flash of blonde from the corner of his eye; time to save Kuroko.  _ Again. _

 

 

 

**ii. Shuutoku**

 

Shuutoku’s resident weirdo’s quirk isn’t hard to figure out: it’s those damn lucky items.

Taiga admits that it’s scary seeing how many times Midorima can be almost killed in one day if he’s without his lucky items, and that  _ maybe _ , those items do actually have some sort of magical property. He’s not saying he believes Midorima, but…there’s  _ something _  out there that’s making these items actually work.

For the most part, though, Midorima’s quirk isn’t too bad. It only gets irritating when there’s an absurdly large item –  _ a bigger item means better luck, nanodayo! _  – or if Midorima can’t find it, and he ends up being the equivalent of an actual child who’s throwing a tantrum.

(Okay, maybe not exactly, but it’s as tiring as taking care of a child who’s throwing a temper tantrum, so close enough.)

And then there’s also the fact that Midorima is an absolute tsundere; it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t mean to do it, he still is. That might not count for a weird quirk, but it’s somewhat tied to his obsession with Oha-Asa, so it counts in Taiga’s mind.

The biggest example: for some unknown reason, he’s just incapable of handing Kuroko his lucky item normally every time he does buy the shadow something. Is it really that hard to just hand an item you bought for someone because you were thinking of them and leave it at that?

An upside, though, in this entire mess called Midorima – he has the best reactions. So, really, as annoying or as weird that quirk of his is, it’s fucking funny to make fun of Midorima for being a tsundere, especially if Kuroko is around or involved or better yet: _both_. It makes the whole thing a little bit more bearable.

 

 

 

 

 **iii.**   **T** **ouou, part 1**

 

First things first that Taiga has to say:  _ man, fuck Aomine Daiki (sometimes) _ .

He’s gotten a lot chiller after his loss at the Winter Cup which is honestly such a good thing for both him and Kuroko; they’ve been hanging out constantly ever since then, and it's gotten better after Aomine finally got over the guilt. Taiga’s joined in on their hangout once or twice before, and he enjoys it, but he knows those hangouts mean something else for them, something more.

But while some things change, other things stay the same – like Aomine's obsession with  _ gravure _  magazines. Taiga understands that a guy’s got needs, but at some point, it gets to be too much that you start to wonder:  _ are they genuinely interested in gravure mags or are they just compensating for something? _

The world will never know that answer, but they can sure as hell get tired of that question. Just like how literally everyone who knows Aomine is tired of his habit.

Besides the obvious matters of why does he casually bring at least one everywhere or why no one’s confiscated it, there’s a more pressing concern:  _ how does he even buy them anyway _ ? And no, it’s not because he wants to buy some – he’s just wondering what kind of careless shopkeeper lets an  _ underage _  kid buy gravure magazines.

Taiga can’t figure it out, but he does have a small theory: maybe it’s because of Aomine’s wrinkles. After all, Aomine already has the broad build and dickish personality, the ‘aged’ wrinkles just really complete the look of a middle-aged, single asshole.

And actually, that’s another theory – maybe the poor shopkeeper was just too terrified of Aomine to deny his sale. The guy’s got an imposing figure that's bordering on giant (if you exclude Murasakibara and his Yosen teammates), so Taiga somewhat understands.

Sorry, shopkeeper. You’re just trying to make a living.

 

 

 

**iv. Touou, part 2 (electric boogaloo)**

 

Does Momoi count as part of the Generation of Miracles? Probably, right? She’s spent the same 3 years with that group and even has some weird traits too, so Taiga says: fuck it – she counts. After all, she fits the unwritten requirement of having a weird thing about her.

And you know, now that Taiga is thinking about it, Momoi’s probably even  _ overqualified _ . From what Taiga can gather with his oblivious self, Momoi has  _ 2 _  quirks: first is her obsession with one Kuroko Tetsuya that rivals even _Kise’s_ , and the other? Her obsession with information.

Yes, information. In other words: every single girl’s normal obsession. Totally.

Taiga doesn’t even know where to start with Momoi, and he won’t deny that a lot of it is because of Kuroko – he really doesn’t want to end up in pain just because he made Momoi cry  _ again _ .

But a lot of it is also attributed to the fact that Momoi can easily ruin his life if she wanted to. In fact, Taiga’s sure that she would’ve ruined his life long ago if Kuroko wasn’t his best friend; because underneath her unhealthy obsession with Kuroko,  _ she’s terrifying _ .

And honestly, can it even be called a quirk anymore? Isn’t she breaking the law or something considering how much personal information she has on Taiga? Why does she even feel the need to have so much information?  _ Does she thrive off of fear or something? _

Taiga is terrified, and Momoi’s existence only further supports his fear of the women in his life – they can and they will mess him up. And honestly speaking, they probably already have on some psychological level, if not physical already.

Taiga hopes that’s not a common thing in women once he's out of high school.

 

 

 

**v. Yosen**

 

Going back to the topic of terrified shopkeepers, Taiga feels even more sorry for the ones who run a supermarket or something similar in Akita. Because that means, at some point in their work life, they’ll either meet or have already met Murasakibara Atsushi.

Like the length of his name, the guy is unnaturally large, and it all points to his weird habit of  _ always _  eating a snack – literally always because going even one minute without a snack for Murasakibara means an angry Murasakibara which spells out actual death for everyone.

Luckily enough, despite his constant need for snacks, he’s actually not that hard to stall while someone’s off saving their lives by heading to the supermarket. And can someone guess who’s the most effective in keeping Murasakibara docile?

...Surprisingly, or at least to Kagami, it’s actually  _ Kuroko _ . He would’ve thought it was Akashi, but according to Kuroko’s explanation: Akashi only stops Murasakibara from doing anything rash in a bad mood while Kuroko can pull Murasakibara out from a bad mood. Or something along those lines, Taiga had zoned out sometime after despite the short explanation.

He just  _really_ did not care about the giant's fetish for snacks.

But it’s actually impressive, and Taiga finally understands why the guy is nice enough to share his snacks with Kuroko, even if it does bring him a little closer to being pouty about running out. The two of them cancel each other out - with Kuroko's naturally maternal personality and Murasakibara's childish one - and maybe that’s why they get along so well off the court; they’re just at equilibrium for the most part.

Plus with how both Kuroko and Akashi spoil Murasakibara, and how cheery he looks when he gets a new or rare snack, especially from Kuroko, Taiga can’t deny it – he can see why Murasakibara is the kid of the Generation of Miracles’ screwed up family. And honestly? It kind of is endearing at some points.

It’s one of the less annoying quirks, he begrudgingly admits.

  
  


 

**vi. Rakuzan**

 

And then there’s  _ Rakuzan _ .

Despite being the shortest out of the Generation of Miracles (besides Kuroko) and probably out of the entire basketball circuit (also besides Kuroko), Akashi Seijuro is  _ fucking terrifying _  to Taiga. The guy could have killed him at literally their first meeting, and typically, slicing someone’s cheek with a pair of scissors doesn’t leave a good first impression.

But hey, maybe that’s just Taiga.

That’s not the biggest problem, though. Ever since he’s lost at the Winter Cup, he’s reverted back to his original self and isn’t so much of a dick anymore, but his second personality is still there and some traits are still present in the original one. For example:  _ using scissors as weapons. _

Taiga’s had it to about here – which is roughly an inch above Akashi’s height – with that. He can deal with every other Miracles’ quirks because for the most part, they’re only annoying; Akashi’s ‘quirk’ is getting way too close to the dangerous part of the ‘acceptable(?) quirks(??) to possess’ spectrum.

The  _ even worse  _ thing is that even Akashi can’t explain why he has that habit now. It’s become subconscious apparently, and Taiga didn’t need to know that honestly – he’s still struggling to sleep after being told that weeks ago.

(Subconsciously?? What the fuck, honestly. What does that even say about Akashi??  _ What does that even mean for Taiga’s life?? _ )

He understands the need to protect one’s self or other people, but  _ c’mon.  _ Akashi doesn’t need a pair of scissors to intimidate someone or even fight them! He’s a literal beacon of fear and terror! Why is Taiga the only one questioning why Akashi is even allowed to keep up this habit?

Even Kuroko is resigned to it despite having to play peacemaker every time some poor soul crosses any one of the miracles. The others just kinda deal with it too, meaning they leave all the pacifying work to Kuroko.

Sorry, Kuroko, but that’s what you get for just standing by as Akashi continues his reign of terror. At least he's scarily effective in stopping Akashi from going on a rampage - unless the cause of the rampage was someone doing something bad to Kuroko.

At that point, there's no mercy from anyone. Rest in pieces in hell.

 

 

 

**vii. Seirin**

 

But now that he thinks about it, why the hell do all of the weird quirks of the Generation of Miracles somehow revolve around Kuroko at some point? Doesn’t it get pretty damn annoying after a while?

However, Taiga still hasn’t noticed how his shadow sighs at him after he asks Kuroko why the Generation of Miracles always crash their practice for Kuroko. He also doesn’t notice how every single eccentricity for each Miracle member always results in getting closer to Kuroko, even if it’s just loosely tied to said eccentricity.

He can’t figure it out, but hey, he figures – it’s not his business so he doesn’t need an answer. It’d just be nice to get one which is a completely different matter anyway.

So, like the basketball obsessed kid he is, he ignores the curiosity that’s prodding at his brain and just continues on with practice. He’d rather not face Riko’s wrath again.

(Kuroko sighs again at his oblivious light.)


End file.
